Have you ever met someone and felt an instant connection to them? Have you ever met someone and instantly liked them? I’ve been told that people who meet Will Smith, Oprah Winfrey and Bill Clinton were immediately drawn to them. Immediately liked them.
Why is it so important to be likeable? One word - Likeonmics. If you are likable you will get “paid”. You’ll get paid financially in getting hired ahead of less likable people. You’ll get paid in promotions at work. You will be paid in favors. Favors like job recommendations. Favors like business opportunities. You will also be paid in friendship.
But people are born likable? No! Being likeable is a skill that can be learned. There have been many books written on this subject, probably the most famous, and the best in my opinion is “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie. Who can memorize the entire contents of a 290 book? Certainly not me. My secret to being likable involves using PIN’s on people. Let me explain.
“P” is for present.
Be 100% present when you are talking to people. Give people your full and undivided attention.
* Stop facebooking.
* Stop checking your email.
* Take your eyes away from the screen.
* Make eye contact.
* Smile at them.
* Listen. You were given 2 ears and 1 mouth. It is said there is a reason for that ratio. He is a trick to “active listening” - repeat back in your head what the person is saying to you.
“I” is for interests.
Be interested. Be genuinely interested. People like people like themselves.
First and foremost to be likeable let the other person talk about what they are interested in. That's right, for you to be “likable” you can let the other person do the talking. Show you are interested by maintaining eye contact, by nodding and by acknowledging what they are saying.
Find common ground. Find mutual interests - no matter how small. Remember, people like people like themselves. Look for cues. What do they have pictures of on their desk. Do they have a sports teams logo on their clothes? Pick up on these cues? Keep up with current affairs - all of them. Me, I not only have a good idea of what is going on in politics and the stockmarket but I also make a point to know who is leading in major sports events like the superbowl as well as who won the last big reality show. I’m not not interested enough in these things to actually watch them but I am interested enough to take a minute to read the news about them. Having these nuggets tucked up my sleeve means I can usually find some “common ground.”
“N” is for Names
Use their name. People love the sound of their own name. It makes them feel special. It makes them feel you care.
Call people names. Nice names. Compliment them. It will make them feel so special. Make it a genuine compliment. No matter how small it is, it will make their day.
If you are trying to get them to give you some help - name what is in it for them. Give them a WIIFM. (Whats In It For Me.)
When interacting with people, to be likable and to make a connection remember to use PIN (Present, Interest, Name).
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